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“I fantasize about making love with men”

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Dear Pastor,
I feel very burdened typing this letter, but deep in my heart I feel a sense of relief for it has been a long time I wanted to talk to someone about my struggles.
I am a twenty-four-year-old male. I really do not know what to do at this point. I have been in love with a girl for the past six years. My relatives love her, and I am very appreciated by hers.  But one thing: I do not know if I should go on with the relationship. I love her but the double life that I am living is giving me so many challenges. 
We are talking about our future but every time things like that come up, I would ask her for more time. I do not know if I am gay, but sometimes I fantasize about making love with men or I would masturbate.
A lot of young people look up to me, but I know that I am not living what I preach. I hope I could get things straightened out with myself. But trust me, I want to take a break from my girlfriend, but I really cannot do it.  I love her too much.
Please help me. I cannot live like this anymore.
B., Manchester

Dear B.,
I suggest that you seek professional help by making an appointment to see a psychologist.You need someone to help you sort out yourself.  You are trying to say that you are living a lie because although you have a girlfriend, you fantasize about making love with men.  You seem to be saying also that the temptation is so very strong that you are afraid that you may yield to it.
I hope you would not yield to the temptation to make love with another man.  You do not know how to describe yourself.  You feel you may be bisexual. A psychologist will help you.  You love your girlfriend, but at the same time you want to take a break from her. Is it because you feel that it is time for you to go with a man?  
Perish the thought. Stick with your girlfriend. When you see the psychologist, lay everything on the table. Tell him or her how you feel about your girlfriend and why you feel you should leave her and at the same time why you want to stay with her. You will get help. So hang on in there.
Pastor

 

 

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