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Dear Pastor,
I am 22 years old and live in Florida. I was dating a man for the past two years and we broke up. I really like this guy but he told me a few days ago that he did not love me. He however does things for me that say otherwise. He told me he cares about me a lot and he wants to help me get on my feet.


Please advise me on how to deal with this situation.

Dear S.W.,
If you find that it is difficult to have this man as a social friend, tell him that you do not wish for him to do anything for you until you have totally gotten over him. Tell him that you are finding it very difficult to cope with the fact that he does not wish to have you as an intimate girlfriend. Let him know that you need time for the healing of your mind. I believe he will understand. Remember you can not force him to love you.



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Dear Pastor,

I am a 19 year old girl who has been dating this guy since I was 10 years old. He is 15 years older than I am. At the time I started to date him, I thought I loved him. However, he is just a player.


He goes around having sex with school girls because he doesn’t want a serious relationship. He is a cheater. He told me that he was not involved with anyone, but I found out that he is married and has two baby mothers. I ended the relationship two years ago, but I don’t know why I can’t get him out of my head. The other day he called me and said that he wanted to be back with me. He also said he was coming over to see me.  I told him no at first, and then I told him it was ok for him to come over. When he did, we talked, and then we got out of control and had sex. After he left my house, I felt really bad.


I know what he is doing, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about him. He has a lot of girls. Once, he gave me Chlamydia and I had to go to the doctor. I told him about it and also that I needed some money to go to the doctor. He said he would give me, but eventually, I had to use my own money. Right now, I am full of regrets because he was just playing me and I know this.


Last year, he slept with a girl from my community and when I asked him why he did it, he said, "Mi nah play soft, if a gal want sex, mi nah back down." I think that he might have AIDS because of the number of girls he is having unprotected sex with. I went and got tested, but I have never returned for the result because I am afraid that it might be positive. Right at this moment, he is having sex with 5 school girls. I just wish I could talk to them about it, but I don’t want them to think I am doing this because I am jealous.


Dear S.W.,

Evidently, you are still in love with this man. You know he is a player and that he is having sex with many girls, but yet you are still willing to have sex with him. You should not have invited him to your house because you are weak towards him. If you really want to get over him, you must stop talking to him totally. You should not meet with him or accept anything from him.



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